The 31st of December is being aroused from deep slumber of 365 days. Now with a crooked back and tired feet, she has reached the finish line and is about to hit that ribbon. 2016 has been like a sprint race, I still remember when the whistle was blown. Like a marathon race for a cause, met a lot of characters on the way. Like playing tennis with a machine, with rapid firing of balls to tackle. Like an exam I wasn’t fully prepared for. But with a Great Tutor by my side every step of the way. Though He felt like He wasn’t there some days and I was left with just a wisp of His fragrance to hold on to. Nothing physically substantial.
I was on a quest of ‘SELF discovery’. Trying to find out who I really am. I stumbled and I fell. Into an abyss of SELF destruction. Of SELFishness, and SELF pity, and SELF denial. Focused too much on mySELF. That I only sought my First Love as the last resort. When none of my SELF helps worked out. I learned that my worth is found in Him. My identity isn’t found in personality tests or society’s ‘opinion’ on how to live. I was created by a creator. The Creator. The Almighty. So if there’s anyone to tell me how to live, it should be my Creator. The one who owns a manual to my being. The One who is the beginning and the ending. The One in my past, present and future all at the same time. He ought to know me better than anyone else. So, I’ve come to the realization that ‘my only identity crisis was my eye dentity to see Him‘ and to identify Him in my life. I’m still learning and discovering who I am in Him… So far I’ve learned… His existence is first and my existence flows forth from His. That’s the flow of existence. Therefore, I must put Him first and then let everything flow from that. Let everything begin with Him and flow forth from Him. That’s the secret of life. To not only live for Him, but to live your life from Him, to live from His living, to move from His moving, to act from His actions, to feel from His heart, to be from His being, and to become who you are from who He is …I AM.
She has survived eleven months and thirty days. She has had her own share of highs and lows. She has lived and learned. Overslept. Missed opportunities. Laughed. Let go. Moved on. Now it’s the end.
But not the end in itself. Just the end of a great chapter to be left behind. To begin a new one. She looks at all those months, days, hours, minutes and seconds behind her in retrospect. And here she stands. Sure, there has been mistakes, but no regrets.
And now it’s time to say goodbye to 2016.
Fresh scents of New year and Mind blowing fireworks;)